Wednesday, December 14, 2016

Coping with Change

Change is inevitable

This is true, it is going to happen, change is one of those things that is just going to happen, and sometimes change happens when we least expect it. Many years ago I was a Nutrimetics consultant, I had a favorite lipstick and I loved this shade, it was stunning and suited me to a tee. One day our new brochure came out for the new season and....well let's just say I was devastated. I could no longer order that shade......I was distraught to say the least. I even called Nutrimetics head office and asked if it was a mistake....they said no!

Now today I see that lipstick as a very silly thing and also the reaction I had to this change was a little over the top. Maybe it has something to do with my age and lack of worldly experiences, maybe it was a perception of loss of sales, I don't recall now what the drama was, it was just a drama and I adapted easily to the change.

Another experience I would like to share is the changes that occurred in our family boxing day 2014. The changes were more significant for my older brother and then the impact had a domino effect throughout the entire family. You see Boxing day 2014 my Brother was very ill and this resulted in him being in a coma for 11 days, the longest 11 days of my life and his of course. The point to this is after the Coma change was inevitable as life was not the same. He had to slow down, he had no choice, he had a long road of recovery in him. He also had a bunch of girls fussing over him and crying at the drop of a hat.....because we all love him.

So change was inevitable due to a situation that had occurred that was out of his control. Some would say he was placed in the hands of God, higher power, the love of his family and amazing medical practitioners.

Change occurs naturally

Over the past 47 years I have been a daughter, a sister, a mother, a wife and friend and many other things in between and I know that change has always been part of the journey. As we grow and evolve into a toddler from a baby, then to a young person then teenager to young adult we experience things that I would refer to as the natural evolution of life, growth and discovery 

What I know to be more true than ever before is that change will happen even when I resist, so it is energetically better to allow the natural changes to happen and then adapt to fight something that will eventually occur anyway.

Change is just a word, does it hold to much meaning for you at times?

The word change has become such a buzz word in the workforce we now do training courses on it. Change Management, Change Adaptation training, The word change has also brought with it the sense of uncertainty. Anyone that knows anything about the 6 Human needs (Anthony Robbins) or Mazlow's hierarchy of needs knows those that do not like uncertainty do not cope well with change.  when change occurs this can create negative feelings and trigger past experiences that were negative.

Let me be more specific about that. Change that is not clear, or can impact negatively on someone can be very emotive for them. 

Things that change naturally;

  • The weather
  • The tides
  • The sun rising and setting

Things that change that you can remove yourself from;

  • Other peoples moods and emotions
  • Negative people
  • Environments that don't serve you

Let go of what you have no or little control over.....just like the weather you have no control, so you don't even think about it as a stressful change.

Thriving not just surviving through change

Thriving is about embracing change and working through the emotions that change bring. In some cases a change can mean you feel elements of stress or even some anxious feelings, for others it can be exciting and something to look forward too.

Strategies I use for embracing Change

When I feel elements of stress or anxiousness about a change I sit in that discomfort for a short time, this allows me to feel what I'm feeling and working through what is going on for me. most of the time it is about uncertainty and what if questions come up. Other times its about a perception of what is going on, when the situation is broken down my perceptions are often not true.

Here is a model that is useful in a business environment and can be adapted personally. If you look at the example you can apply this to a personal situation by asking more specific questions for yourself;


ADKAR is a goal-oriented change management model that allows people/teams to focus their activities on specific results.  The model was initially used as a tool for determining if change management activities like communications and training were having the desired results during organisational change.

For example,
·          Awareness of the need to change
·          Desire to participate and support the change
·          Knowledge of how to change (and what the change looks like)
·          Ability to implement the change on a day-to-day basis
·          Reinforcement to keep the change in place

So remember change is inevitable and can be more positive with the approach that works for you. As Marie Forleo talks about "Everything is figuroutable"

This is a great Super Soul Sunday Video - Everything is figureoutable

Till my next blog stay brave and true to yourself, 

Donna Moulds 

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