Friday, August 19, 2011

When Times Get Tough!

Welcome to my Blog……. I feel this subject is a very important subject, as the more resources we have the greater the opportunities we can create. However on the flip side of this I know someone that currently has all the resources, support and access to information at their fingertips, yet is declining into a state of destruction. This kind of behavior often leads me to a state of frustration (even though I know better).
· I am sure you know someone that has all the resources at their fingertips yet is unable to get better results for themselves, they have addiction or are self destructive (we read about this daily)
· I am sure we all know or have read about someone who has had enormous trauma and challenges to deal with and yet they not only survive but flourish and contribute to other peoples causes or their own successful future in a positive way.
When times get tough we generally do one of three things,
1. Dig deep and find a solution
2. Brainstorm with other people to find strategies that can help, or solve the problems
3. Throw our hands in the air and give up.
At times throwing our hands in the air or giving up leads to things such as breakdown, bankruptcy or even suicide when things are overwhelming.
I often wonder about why some personalities can deal with adversity and others can not. I think this also relates to why some people can run their own business and others can not. This can relate to the responsibility or the ability to deal with pressure and people.
A number of years ago I recall being at a point of total agony, nothing was working I was a breaking point, I was also very fortunate to have a great support system around me, however at the end of the day all the resources in the world would not help me unless I took massive action in the form of baby steps.
Step 1 – Identify I need to change
Step 2 – Realisiation of what I can and can not change
The Serenity Prayer was a resource for me to tap into, even if you are not religious the message is still powerful.
Step 3 – Learn some strategies to help reduce the pressure I was feeling or lack of knowledge
Step 4 – Use the strategies consistently
Step 5 – Never give up
The reason I say MASSIVE action in BABY STEPS, is you need to make changes that are sustainable, and sometimes one step at a time so we can reinforce new habits and see progress.
I have experienced many people saying something doesn’t work and when you ask them if they tried this new strategy, they may say, “That wont work for me” I did it once and it didn’t work” you don’t know what its like for me”
I am a strong advocate of listening to TED Talks as one of my resources for learning and one I have listened to regularly and will do in the future is Anthony Robbins on “Why we do what we do, and how can we do it better”

You can lead a horse to water but you can not make it drink!
I have heard this saying all my life, well as far back as I can remember. It is so very true though, when you think about the advice you may have given people over the years or even the advice you have been given. Until you are ready to make a change nothing will change.
Why don’t we change?
In my experience it is because we get validated being a victim or we have secondary gain, and at times we don’t know what to do differently.
Why do we change?
In my experience it is when we are in enough pain, we change because we want a different result.
“If you keep doing what you have always done you will keep getting what you have always got”!
Till next time, live well and be good to yourself.

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