Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Communication Via Social Networks!

You may read the heading and think "what would she know about this". Well I probably know as much or as little about the subject as most.

Here is what I do know. We are communicating less effectively than just 10 years ago. We are saying less and typing far to much.

Human beings have been communicating for centuries, since the dawn of time. Today we have more ways of communicating that we care to think about. The point to discussion is to get you thinking about how communication is taking place in your experience, and to ask the question "What is the most appropriate way to communicate what I need to say right now"?

You see, we need to be more conscious of this question and stop texting and start thinking first. When an email or a text has left your device, you can not take it back. Have you ever pressed send and regretted it?

Have you ever been guilty of communicating poorly and out of feeling frustrated. I know I have.... Have you sent a text when you should have called, have you left a voicemail when you needed to say it face to face? Are you playing an argument out on face book. Giving important news to your family via Twitter?

These are all questions you could ask yourself, and then think consciously the next time you are about to communicate a message to someone.

I think Texting is great, here are some things that are really suited for text
  • "We are out of Milk, Mum can you grab some"
  • "On my way just running late be 5 min"
  • "I'm in a meeting but wanted to let you know i am thinking of you"
Here are some things we should not text and need to say face to face and discuss, yet these things are being text or put on Face book. Cyber Bullying is out of control and we have many dedicated sites to support our teens and even some adults are being bullied.

Some of the conversation that should not be had via text;
  • "I don't love you anymore"
  • "Where would you like to go this weekend"
  • What you said last night really upset me and i think we need to resolve this now over text"
face book is another format that we are not thinking about. Employers are now looking at face book as a way to get insight into the people they may employ and i can tell you from experience, Many people have missed out on traineeships due to their face book posts and photo's.

I see everyday the great benefits to the social media for business and connecting with loved one's who are far away. However on the flip side the lack of thought about Facebook being around long after the disagreement has happened or the poor decision of a photo being posted that you never want to be reminded of, lurks around the corner for the rest of our life. Even when your profile is gone the information is in many hands or devices i should say.

So on reflection take the time to think about how you could communicate better and if the conversation needs to be Face to face where emotions are seen and understood and you can connect the way we were born to connect. Their is nothing like a hug to say your sorry to a loved one or a genuine handshake to mend broken relationships in business and friendship.

I would love to read your feedback and some examples of communication that could have been done differently providing a very different outcome.

Donna Moulds

Friday, August 19, 2011

When Times Get Tough!

Welcome to my Blog……. I feel this subject is a very important subject, as the more resources we have the greater the opportunities we can create. However on the flip side of this I know someone that currently has all the resources, support and access to information at their fingertips, yet is declining into a state of destruction. This kind of behavior often leads me to a state of frustration (even though I know better).
· I am sure you know someone that has all the resources at their fingertips yet is unable to get better results for themselves, they have addiction or are self destructive (we read about this daily)
· I am sure we all know or have read about someone who has had enormous trauma and challenges to deal with and yet they not only survive but flourish and contribute to other peoples causes or their own successful future in a positive way.
When times get tough we generally do one of three things,
1. Dig deep and find a solution
2. Brainstorm with other people to find strategies that can help, or solve the problems
3. Throw our hands in the air and give up.
At times throwing our hands in the air or giving up leads to things such as breakdown, bankruptcy or even suicide when things are overwhelming.
I often wonder about why some personalities can deal with adversity and others can not. I think this also relates to why some people can run their own business and others can not. This can relate to the responsibility or the ability to deal with pressure and people.
A number of years ago I recall being at a point of total agony, nothing was working I was a breaking point, I was also very fortunate to have a great support system around me, however at the end of the day all the resources in the world would not help me unless I took massive action in the form of baby steps.
Step 1 – Identify I need to change
Step 2 – Realisiation of what I can and can not change
The Serenity Prayer was a resource for me to tap into, even if you are not religious the message is still powerful.
Step 3 – Learn some strategies to help reduce the pressure I was feeling or lack of knowledge
Step 4 – Use the strategies consistently
Step 5 – Never give up
The reason I say MASSIVE action in BABY STEPS, is you need to make changes that are sustainable, and sometimes one step at a time so we can reinforce new habits and see progress.
I have experienced many people saying something doesn’t work and when you ask them if they tried this new strategy, they may say, “That wont work for me” I did it once and it didn’t work” you don’t know what its like for me”
I am a strong advocate of listening to TED Talks as one of my resources for learning and one I have listened to regularly and will do in the future is Anthony Robbins on “Why we do what we do, and how can we do it better”

You can lead a horse to water but you can not make it drink!
I have heard this saying all my life, well as far back as I can remember. It is so very true though, when you think about the advice you may have given people over the years or even the advice you have been given. Until you are ready to make a change nothing will change.
Why don’t we change?
In my experience it is because we get validated being a victim or we have secondary gain, and at times we don’t know what to do differently.
Why do we change?
In my experience it is when we are in enough pain, we change because we want a different result.
“If you keep doing what you have always done you will keep getting what you have always got”!
Till next time, live well and be good to yourself.

Friday, July 22, 2011

When Opportunity Knocks!

When opportunity knocks make sure you open the door.
Recently I have been listening to Donald Trump’s program “Think Big and Kick Ass” and he often talks about opportunity and making sure you take every opportunity you can so long as it is for the right reasons. I would add my personal opinion of, “is it for the greater good”? The greater good for me comes from my values. When opportunity knocks for me it has to be for the greater good. This could relate to a number of things such as my Family or my Team or my Business. Sometimes we are presented an opportunity that will also push us into a place we didn’t think we could go. Think Big and kick Ass, has made me realise how small I was playing in Business and since realising this, I have been thinking bigger and greater opportunities have presented themselves.
We have all heard the statement that “everything happens for a reason”, well this can be a subject for great debate, as I have heard many times in the past from various opinions. As this is a blog and my personal opinion, I have to say though, from experience everything does happen for a reason and at times we don’t know till much later on or with great reflection why! I also strongly believe that adversity brings great opportunity, such as self development and personal growth. We may feel uncomfortable or stretched physically and/or emotionally, however their will be a reason behind what is happening.
Do I have lessons to learn?
Do I want different results, therefore need to change what I am doing?
Have circumstances changed, where I need to adjust?
Opportunity will look different to an Optimistic V pessimistic person
Is your glass half full or half empty?
In the program The Shift, Dr Wayne Dyer spoke of people at a radio station loosing their job and how devastated they were and he made a statement about it being time to move on, and if you weren’t ready you would be forced by change. What I have seen in the past is optimistic people will accept decisions and find a solution sooner than a pessimistic person, who may take longer to find a solution and they also make statements about how this will impact them negatively or other statements that may place them in a victim mentality. Now let me also say, I agree loosing your job can be very devastating especially with bills to pay and a family to feed….
Tips…..When a situation occurs that may push our comfort levels slightly or significantly, try to ask a number of questions before you take action.
What specifically has occurred here?
Can I change the situation?
What resources do I have that I can tap into?
Who could I call on for advice or support?
Then break the situation down into the facts and take appropriate action. This strategy can also provide you with the Opportunity mindset.
Till next time Bloggers
Donna Moulds

Friday, June 24, 2011

Learning, Why Is It Important?

When I talk about learning I am not specifically focused on formal education, but learning life lessons as well as basic life skills. We learn many things over time but if you think about how, it is very diverse
Brothers and Sisters
Friends and colleagues
However the reality is sometimes we don’t have these examples or if we do they may not be the most positive of role models. We also may need more that what we are being taught at home or in school or out in the playground.
What kind of learner am I?
Do I learn by listening?
Do I learn by doing?
Do I learn by repetition and guidance?
What should I learn? Knowing what you need to learn can be a challenge as we don’t know what we don’t know. Thinking about your future and knowing we can achieve great things inspires us to learn, I think that is a big part of personal growth.
If we find our passion, we tend to become hungry for knowledge and it seem to be easier to learn new things, albeit scary at times but also exciting to know we love what we are learning and the direction this is taking our life, career and family.
Learning may cost money but far less than not learning and making the same mistakes over and over again. There is a great saying “If you keep doing what you have always done you will keep getting what you always got” Is a great Philosophy to live by and be a constant reminder that when things are not working we need to change what we are doing.
What if we don’t know how to do things differently?….I asked this question at the CEO sleep-out. Sometimes we don’t know there is a different way to do something as we have no one to guide us or show us an alternative.
When lights go off, or you have that Ah ha moment great things are possible, so keep learning. Have a look at this brief clip from the CEO sleep-out where we are helping homeless men learn how to do things differently.
I want to leave you with a thought
There are no winners or losers in education just learners!

Donna Moulds

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Manage Stress In Any Situation!

What strategies work for you?
There is a lot of information out in the community, on the web and also in the workplace on stress and how to manage it.
However the first step to managing stress is, knowing what stress is for you?
What can be very resourceful is to identify when you are stressed, how you are feeling and you could also rate this for example on a scale of 1 to 10. Notice how your breathing is and if it is shallow, then you could take a few deep breaths and then see how you are feeling. Just breathing differently can make a difference.
I personally think one of the biggest mistakes we make is assuming how someone should be feeling or react to any given situation based on how we would be feeling or react. Take for example 2 people going through Divorce, how one person reacts may be very different to the other person. The stages of emotions that may be experienced will vary from person to person, or the time in which it takes for life to feel relatively normal again, if at all.
In the workplace how two people respond to work demands, deadlines and managing people will vary. Is it getting to work on time, or is it your work load, or it could be work colleagues that increase your stress levels. What we need to realise is that it is not something or someone that causes us stress it is how we perceive a situation or react to what is happening around us that creates the feeling inside.`
When a crisis happens in the world such as the Floods in Queensland, the earthquake in Christchurch or the Tsunami in Japan, this is a situation that can effect people differently, if you have family there or feel very emotional about the tragedy and lives lost you may feel stressed by this situation, however if for example you don’t have any family there and have no emotional attachment to the situation then you may not have any reaction just a feeling of empathy or sadness. Please remember people feelings and reactions are their own and not right or wrong just their feelings.
Do you really know which strategies works for you? Have you ever been told how to manage stress, use the techniques and still no results?
This may be due to the fact that you have not discovered what works for you!
Is it
  • Exercise
  • Healthy eating
  • No alcohol
  • Mediation
  • Deep breathing techniques
These are some of the tips that can be used in isolation or even combine a number of them or all of them. So what do you do when you have tried them all and nothing seems to work?
Well just like isolating what foods/preservatives don’t agree with you, you have to try some different techniques and measure what is getting a result, even a small result should be measured and when you get good results you need to keep doing that but also try other techniques to increase the outcome. Never give up.
Step 1. Identify how you are feeling (Angry, Sad, hurt, scared, uncertain)
Step 2. Ask yourself, what specifically about this situation is making me feel this way?
Step 3. Can I change the situation? Become resourceful….
Step 4. Can I change the way I perceive the situation/ is it as bad as it seems
Step 5. What strategies work that I can use right now
Step 6. Take action
Remember not to fool yourself by saying nothing works. I can’t tell you how many times I hear someone say nothing works and when you ask the question they may have tried one technique once and given up.
If you want to know more about managing stress feel free to contact us for some more information or book a session on Managing Stress with resourceful outcomes.
Till next time
Donna Moulds

Friday, March 4, 2011

The Power Of Shared Knowledge!

So what have you learned and shared with others? please comment and share with us.
About 7 years ago I started on a personal growth journey.
When I look back, I think I was always on a journey of growth, however I wasn’t aware and 7 years ago I became very conscious of my journey and it was at this point it was more directed and purposeful.
I had this hunger and desire to learn more and then as I learned more I wanted to learn faster. The more I learned the more I wanted to learn. I was like a kid in a candy shop, I was excited and passionate, It was like I lifted the lid on something but didn’t know what it was.
My mentor at the time Dale was such a patient teacher, hard on me, but patient and only too willing to share all she had learned. This was a clear demonstration on how the power of sharing knowledge can change peoples lives. It changed mine!
Early on in the journey I wanted to tell every one everything, as I learn't it. I didn’t share what I didn’t understand as I was afraid of looking stupid. When I got it, and the lights went on, I wanted to tell the world. Even those that didn’t want to hear.
I learned about Jim Rohn and Anthony Robbins and then I started to understand Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) and attended a Christopher Howard Seminar and I continued University in the car (also known as learning on the go) and found more great speakers, I borrowed books and tapes and then when I could I invested in programs, then I started meeting more like minded people who shared a similar journey to me. It was amazing to me how all this stuff was in the world and I had never experienced this before the age of 33.
Then I met another mentor Caron, who has taught me so much in such a short period of time. Not only did Caron teach me how to learn more about myself and my journey, she also showed me the art of patients, gratitude, and more importantly tapping into my inner resources. One of the many lessons that were reinforced is the Power of Sharing Knowledge.
Sharing knowledge is one of the most priceless gifts you could ever give. Someone’s life can change with just that one gift alone. I also believe that giving starts the receiving process.
I have recently experienced this with two of my students, where I shared a bit of knowledge and it has had an incredible impact on this life and how they look at future possibilities. This truly inspires me to continue on my journey and to keep sharing knowledge.
Till next time, keep sharing. Donna

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

The Power Of Reading!

What books are you reading?

As an avid book reader myself I am always on the lookout for new books that I am inspired by. I have read many and have built up a fairly good library over the years.
I also love to loan out the books to others who may not want to build up a library but want to read a good book.

A good friend of mine asked “Who I will leave it to when I die?” To be honest I had not thought about that till then, but it is actually a substantial collection. Including a very old edition of the, “Laws of Success” by Napoleon Hill and a signed copy of Jim Rohn “Seasons of Life”. Books that I am very proud to have in my collection.

Note to self, add library to the will.

Anyway, I have always love to hear the stories about what someone is reading and why (if they do) they love it so much or what did it bring o their life. One of my previous Trainees read 7 habits of highly effective teenagers. The feedback from her
was amazing and I know that the book impacted changes in her life in very positive way.

I would love to know the answer to some question from all you
Canberra Small Business blog supporters.

What are you reading?
Or what have read recently?
What has it brought to your life?
What has it taught you or inspired you to do?

I have read many books but some of the most powerful books have been the Four Agreements Don Miguel Ruiz, The Success Principles, Jack Canfield, Excuses Begone, Dr Wayne Dyer.

The success Principles has a great free coaching program that has some tools to get you started for FREE.

Books have inspired me to learn from my many business and personal mistakes and given me insight to find alternative solutions. They have given me drive and inspiration to keep going and also to motivate others. I will forever read and obtain ideas on how I can continue my growth.

I once heard a saying that has stuck with me for years now, “If you keep doing what you have always done you will keep getting what you have always got” Anon

Please leave your comments answering the questions;

What are you reading?
Or what have read recently?
What has it brought to your life?
What has it taught you or inspired you to do?

Donna Moulds